Does your heart ache?

Kas Sinu süda vahel valutab? Siinkohal pean silmas südant, mis valutab kaastundest, murest ja kurbusest.
Meil kõigil on omad probleemid, eesmärgid, elutingimused ja vajadused.
Mitte, et ma masendavat juttu tahaksin rääkida. Lihtsalt tunne mu sees on suur.
Raske on vahel tundeid sõnadesse panna, sest siis see habras mõte justkui kaoks ja kaotaks väärtuse.

Minu süda valutab. Valutab paljude inimeste pärast. Lihtsalt vastutulevate inimeste pärast tänaval, mängivate laste pärast metsa all,  õhtuhämaruses jalutavate vanakeste pärast. Ja mitte ainult, tahaksin olla keegi, kes suudaks aidata. Aidata palju ja mitte ühekordselt tähelepanu pöörates, vaid muuta suhtumist.
Suhtumine üksteisesse on muutunud. Me elame endale, enda igatsustele, enda arengule, mis mingil määral pole halb. Kuid siiski oleme ammu ületanud piiri ja nii me kõnnime üles üksi mööda redelit, tõugates teisi kaasronijaid, et ainult olla esimene,kiirem, parem, saavutada rohkem. Me alati ei soovi halba, kuid palju jääb nägemata, märkamata just tänu meie suhtumistele ja väärtustele.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said, "Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love."

Paljudel ei ole perekonda. Pole ema, isa. Pole sõpru ja pole inimesi, kelle peale loota. On sõbrad, kuid kas ka tõelised sõbrad, kes hoolivad sinu käekäigust ja ei otsi sõprusest omakasu, on küsimus.
Paljudel pole armastust. Pole inimesi, kes julgustaks ja innustaks. Aitaks ületada raskuste silda, kui enda jõud on lõppemas.
Paljud rügavad tohutu koorma all. Töökoorem, murede koorem ja vahel tahaks kogu kandami maha panna ja korrakski puhata, kuid kes aitaks ja märkaks?

"Kohtumine vanatädiga"
Seal ma seisin ja kohtasin üht vana naist. Ta toetas kepile ja küsis, kas mul on võimalik anda talle natuke toiduraha.Soov osta kartuleid ja õli. Olin justkui oma mõtetes, kiirustamas... kuid, jäin kuulatama..
Naine jätkas rääkimist, öeldes, et on lausa häbi küsida, kuid pole midagi teha. Peab küsima.Mu süda valutas. Andsin raha ja naine soovis mulle kallile lapsele õnnistusi. Kiirustasin edasi, kuid süda ei andnud rahu, mõtetes- huvitav, miks on vanake sellises seisus ja kas saaksin teda aidata rohkem kui mu mugavustsoon ette näeb. 
Olin selleks ajaks juba üsna kaugele kõndinud, endas kaheldes, kas minna tagasi või mitte. Jooksin tagasi. Leidsin taas vanakese ja alustasin kartlikult jutuajamist. Küsisin, et kas ta elab üksi ja vastuseks oli jah! "Pension on väike ja olen astmahaige.Rohud on kallid.Pole toiduraha." Olin kui puuga pähe saanud.Pakkusin, et läheme istume siia kohvikusse ja ma ostan meile mõlemale lõuna ja räägime ehk natuke, äkki saan aidata.
Naine keeldus ja ütles, et tal on vaja veel raha teenida ja aega pole raistata. Tegin veel mitu katset temaga kontakti saavutamiseks, kuid tulutult. Vastuseks tuli üha: Kogun veel raha ja siis hiljem lähen turule. Rutiin. Ja nii ta kõndis..ära..
Mu süda valutas..kuid vähemalt olin proovinud ja see julgus, mis minus aset leidis oli esmakordne.

Tahaksin teha rohkem tegusid. Jah, just neid väikeseid üllatavaid  armastusetegusid:
käest hoida väikesel lapsel, toeks olla hallipäisel, külvata headuse seemneid.... Mul on veel pikk pikk tee minna ja õppida. Õppida, kuidas märgata ja tõeliselt hoolida.

 

When the thing
Is about oneself
The meaning
Gets lost

Taking time to
See the scratched back
Of the coin or the ripped
Page of a tossed, two week
Newspaper or the cry
Within the shelter, muffled by
The mad white clothed men
Makes all the difference 

 A call in the dark - life is like that
A shriek in the forest
A hymn underneath wooden stairs
Littered with the sawdust of a carpenter
Who hung by his faith
A long time ago
A man I did not know
A perspective that hardens, yet melts
Like the first and last snow

 Our minds are
Programed to make
The lives we possess
More important than
The other's that surround us

To get past that
To step away from that
To walk toward selflessness
With our feet no longer ours;
The mast splintered, broken, thrown out
To a sea no longer ours; rocks to bone
To treasure so sought lost for all others;
The eyes show the weight of all within.

A.Brown

 Prayer:
 Dear God! I come to you today.
Fill me with Your light and happiness & love. Make me humble, kind & loving unconditionally and without judgement. Pleae take away my selfishness. Allow me to be mild tempered and forgiving. Allow me to put others  first before myself all the time. Allow me to keep You in my drivers seat because there's no where i can go without You.

Love,
A.

It´s a new day!

This morning I was walking in the forest and talking to God.... these thoughts came into my mind...

This world could never offer the love that God is offering you right now.You deserve to experience a REAL love. Don´t settle with the less..
He has been loving you from the moment you were born. He has been loving you in your troubles, in your sorrows and also in your happiness. Maybe you have just ignored Him?
He can´t help you unless you are willing to. God offers  His love everyday, it`s just the question: "do we notice it?" Do we want to notice it?
We are so busy with ourselves, that all that is actually important stays hidden. It is time to look up, look up into the skys and ask if there is something bigger that I am called to do?

As a christian, I have a peace that this world cannot give. 
Peace, that if this day would be my last... I am happy, full of love to share and willing to let go my own will. It is not a sign of weakness, it is sign that I understand there is something bigger than me and I have faith to explore it.

It does not mean I have perfect life, or I do not make mistakes. Ofcourse I do, I am just a human. It also does not mean I don´t have difficulties in my life- I have had rough times and I know I will have them in future, BUT  I know how to overcome them with my Heavenly Father supporting me.

I don´t have all the answers I need, but I know someone, who does :)

The other point- You deserve to have real friends. Not the ones who say they care, but they actually don´t.

You need friends that support you and encourage you to do bigger, do fill your dreams and to inspire you.

 I caught myself thinking, do I have friends that ispire me?  We need to ask that question from ourselves, because it is time to let go those people who have been tearing you down. Also be the light , be the inspiration for your friends. Incourage them, love them. You never know, when will you get the second opportunity...

Everyday is a new opportunity, new people, new circumstances, new love. It is upto us, if we want to use it and take the most of each day we are given.

Dear Lord,
I am thankful for this day. For the people I am going to meet, for being healthy, for having home, for family, for the air I breathe, for Your love that rescued me...

Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go!

LÄBI! Kool on läbi ja nüüdsest võin uhke olla, et oman tunnistust mis ütleb, et olen kvalifitseeritud lasteaiaõpetaja :)
Oli hetki, mil mõtlesin, et ei suuda. Liiga palju tundus seda kõike olevat, kuid siiski ei andnud alla- tulgu mis tuleb.

Elu igapäeva situatsioonid viskavad meid tihti vetesse, mida me ei tunne. On meie valik, kas me proovime selles hakkama saada- isegi kui vahel tormisel merel suunda ei näe. Kuid kas pole vahva, et kui jääme ustavaks ja viime alustatu lõpuni, oleme taas justkui tulnud võitjaks.
Minule on nendes suurtes lainetes alati olnud suunanäitajaks ja majakaks Jumal, kui tunnen, et ise ei jaksa on hea teada, et saan alati kellelegi kindel olla. Siiani pole pidanud selles kindluses pettuma ja ma ei ütleks, et mu elu ainult lilleaasal kõndimine on olnud.

Make your fear a visitor and not a resident. Hasn’t fear taken enough? Enough smiles? Enough restful nights? Enough exuberant days?
Make it a day changer to meet your fears with faith. Choose to make every day—a great day!"

Jah, olen läbi raskuste õppinud väärtustama ilusaid hetki ja kalleid inimesi. Kuid kõige enam olen õppinud ennast väärtustama läbi selle, et mind on väärtustatud. Jumal on mind ja Sind armastanud just sellistena nagu oleme, meie vigade ja puudustega. Tänu sellele, võin tunda ennast kindlalt ükskõik mis olukorras- olgu see lähedase kaotus, raske majanduslik olukord, üksildustunne või enesekindluse puudumine.  
Kui üldiselt võivad need faktorid meie elu täiesti pea peale pöörata, siis see teadmine ja tundmine, et Sa pole üksi ja Tema ( Jumala) armastus Sinu vastu pole kuhugi kadunud, annab jõudu ja viib edasi.






If God is all you have, you have all you need.

Don’t give up on God, because He never gave up on You
God’s promises are like stars; the darker the night, the brighter they shine.
Don’t mistake God’s patience for His absence. His timing is perfect and His presence is constant. He’s always with you!
God’s plan is so high & above our understanding that the only way we’ll truly be able to fathom it is by taking this life day by day. #Truth

Life was throwing curve balls at me left and right . But then God gave me a bat and showed me how to swing .

Disappointments are just God’s way of saying: “I’ve got something better”’ Be patient, live life, have faith.

 Love,
A.

Sometimes the whole world is the person beside you

Kas südames võib tõesti olla rahu ka siis kui ümberringi kõik mässab, lokkab rahutus ja rahulolematus? Kas südames võib olla tõesti rõõm ka siis kui on raske ja lained löövad üle pea?
Jah :)

Jesus is the Fountain, yes, the Ocean, of living waters. We draw supplies from His infinite, inexhaustible fulness. "Lord, impart to me more of Yourself. Fill this heart with Your love, engrave Your image there, and let me not lose sight of You for one small moment."
Jesus is all in all to me. I feel a blessed nearness to Him, to heaven. My soul holds converse with Him, and sweet I find it to lie as a helpless infant at His feet; yes, passive in His loving hands, knowing no will but His.

Kuidas tahaksin näha suuremat pilti. Mitte olla kinni väikestes asjades- unistada suurelt ja teha väikeseid tegusid oma unistust järgides.

What a mercy, thus to unburden the whole heart; the tried and weary, the tempted and sorrowful heart; tried by sin, tried by Satan, tried by those you love! What a mercy to have a loving bosom to flee to, one truly loving heart to confide in, which responds to the faintest breathing of the Spirit! "Precious Jesus, how inexpressibly dear are You to me at this moment! Keep sensibly near to me. Lift up upon me Your heavenly countenance, for it is sweeter, dearer, better than life!"

Tunnen ennast tihti abituna, kuna tahaksin teha rohkem, näha rohkem abivajajaid enda ümber ja saada lahti "Mina egost".

Mis meil puudub? Ennastsalgav armastus. Oleme kärmed õpetussõnu jagama ja kohut mõistma. Kui kasvõi pool meie kohtumõistmise energiast läheks kellelegi kaasa tundmiseks ja reaalseteks tegudeks, oleks meil lootust.

Frozen waves

A prayer hidden and silent

Stones submerged by winter’s blanket
Covered and cold beneath the grip of frost

If they could but speak of the wishes, the hopes,
Desires and fears uttered here
Frozen in the gossamer of time

Wishes written on the footfalls and on the breezes
Of another moment, another season
Hearts open in the stillness of the walking
The mix of stones and soil, moss and grass under foot

Reverent periods of reflection
Between man and God
Cries heard in the silence beyond the field
Through the frozen prayers
In the ground.

By R.Foss

Have you ever felt like you have been praying but God hasn’t been hearing your prayer? Or maybe you have been working hard to grow in virtue but see no change in your life despite your best efforts? Maybe you’ve felt like you just don’t know how to pray anymore, although you continue to set aside time to be with Him...
Let’s put a pot of ice water on the stove and turn on the heat. We will watch the temperature on a thermometer to measure the change in water temperature as the pot sits on the heat, and we won’t look inside that pot. Now, if we watch that thermometer for a while, we will begin to think that nothing is happening. Heat is being applied to the water, but the water isn't feeling warmer.

Suddenly there is a rise in temperature! How can the water go from cold to hot so quickly? Well, the water temperature doesn't rise - it doesn’t change - until all the ice is melted. It seems as though nothing is happening, but something is happening - the heat energy is melting the ice rather than raising the water temperature. Only when all the ice is melted is the heat energy finally able to warm up the water temperature.

Doesn't this make you think of the spiritual life? We may feel as though we work and work to grow in virtue but with no results. Sometimes in our prayer we may feel that we are stuck, that we have stopped moving closer to God. Where is He? Why can’t we reach Him? He may seem very far away. Well, God is often working in the secret of our hearts. Sometimes there are hard, icy parts of us that need to melt before the heat of God’s love can continue to transform other aspects of our lives. We can’t always see those bits and pieces of ice hidden often so deep within our souls, and thankfully God usually reveals them to us just a little at a time so as not to overwhelm us. But if we pray, if we partake of the sacrament, then we are applying heat – the heat of God’s love and mercy. Change is taking place, we must just continue to trust and to love.














Photos taken 11.02.12 in Jägala juga and Valkla beach.
LOve
A.

Trust is the word

Everybody, everywhere
seeks happiness, it’s true,
But finding it and keeping it
seem difficult to do.
Difficult because we think
that happiness is found
Only in the places where
wealth and fame abound.
And so we go on searching
in palaces of pleasure
Seeking recognition
and monetary treasure,
Unaware that happiness
is just a state of mind
Within the reach of everyone
who takes time to be kind.
For in making others happy
we will be happy, too.
For the happiness you give away
returns to shine on you.

- Helen Steiner Rice-

Usaldus. Miks on meil nii raske usaldada? Maailmas, mis iga päev otsib uut väljakutset, uut põnevust, leida see miski, mis toob hetkeks rõõmu ja rahuldust.
Igaüks justkui elab endale, enda vajadustele- saada rohkem kogemusi, rohkem võimalusi, rohkem raha, tarkust.
Milleks see kõik? Kuhu on kadunud usaldus... inimeste vahel, usaldus Jumala vastu?
Me tahame saada palju, aga pole nõus loobuma mitte millestki.
Olete märganud, et loobudes millestki, koged suurt muutust oma elus? Mis sellest, et alguses on raske. Meie loomuses on raske millestki loobuda.
Aga kõige põnevam on see, et mida rohkem me usaldame oma mured, probleemid, vead Jumala kätte, seda kergem meil endal on.
Meie taevane Isa tahab võtta meilt need koormad, ükskõik kui rasked need meile endale tunduvad.
Koos Temaga, on kõik võimalik.
Usu mind, Ta tahab meid siiralt aidata, kui me vaid lubaksime... kui me vaid usaldaksime.

Where there is faith in God, there is hope. Where there is hope, there is peace. Where there is peace, there is FREEDOM.

Miks ainult siis, kui on rasked olukorrad, oskame otsida ja usaldada Jumalat? Nagu oleks see viimane koht, kust abi otsida. Kuid miks mitte õppida usaldama Teda iga päev, igapäevastes otsustes, oma rutiinsetes tegevustes.

As children bring their broken toys
With tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God
Because He was my friend.

But then instead of leaving Him
In peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help
With ways that were my own.

At last I snatched them back and cried,
“How could you be so slow”
“My child,” He said, “What could I do?
You never did let go.”

Dear Lord,
I trust that I deserve unconditional love.
All my problems, my thoughts and my days,
all I I have I put my trust in You.
You are my refuge and fortress,
My God in You I will trust.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4mUtJkXSbo&feature=related

A.

Let your dreams always be greater than your memories!

Aasta 2012:
uus algus, uus lootus ja uued mõtted. Otsustasin mõned mõtted jagada :)

Jõulutuhin möödas, on kätte jõudnud hetked, kus on võimalik lihtsalt olla: rahus, oma mõtetega, ideedega ja eelkõige Jumalaga. Otsida, otsida..

On aega märgata kodusoojust, loodust ja inimesi enda ümber.

Aeg märgata uut, mida meie Taevane Isa on tegemas meie keskel...

Your greatest ministry is before and not behind you.
Your greatest days are ahead and not behind you.
Your greatest marriage memories are in your future and not in your past.

Your best moments with your kids have yet to happen.

Your greatest accomplishments are before you

Don´t let your past limits define your future, but let the Word of God and His promises define your future!

Poem, that just melted my heart:

For today we`re facing problems
Man alone can never solve,
For it takes much more than genius
To determine and resolve
The conditions that confront us
All around on every side,
Daily mounting in intensity
like the restless, rising tide

But we´ll find new Strength and Wisdom
If instead of proud resistance...
We humbly call upon the Lord
And seek Divine Assistance;
For the spirit can unravel
Many tangled, knotted threads
That defy the skill and power
Of the world`s best hands and heads.

For the plans of growth and progress
Of which we all have dreamed,
Cannot survive materially
Unless the spirit is redeemed.
So as another Year dawns,
Let us seek the Lord in prayer
And place our future hopes and plans
Securely in God´s care.

Written by Helen S. Rice




Rõõmu teile,
A.